CUPERTINO, Calif.

For immediate release.

Apple Inc. today announced its all-new revolutionary line of MacBook Pro notebooks, headlined by the brand new 16-inch MacBook Pro. This model has a 120 Hz ProMotion HDR Retina display, powered by a built-in Vega II graphics processor and fitting one more inch of display into the device dimensions of the 15-inch MacBook Pro.

“This is what our customers have been dreaming of for years,” said Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller.

All MacBook Pro models sport a stunning, time-proven, industry-leading scissor-switch keyboard, improving upon the radical butterfly mechanism. Additionally, customers get a choice of a full Touch Bar + Touch ID configuration or function keys + Touch ID.

“This is what our customers have been dreaming of for years,” said Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller.

The Thunderbolt 3, USB-C ports and 3.5 mm headphone jack are joined by two USB-A ports, an SDXC card slot and an HDMI 2.1 port, capable of fully powering a 4K external display at 120 Hz or an 8K display at 60 Hz.

“This is what our customers have been dreaming of for years,” said Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller.

The new MacBook Pro line also contains numerous other improvements, like the latest Intel processors, a new user-serviceable battery with 20% longer all-day battery life, a 4K FaceTime camera with a built-in privacy slider, even faster flash storage, up to 128 GB RAM and a matte display configuration.

“This is what our customers have been dreaming of for years,” said Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller.

While no one was looking, Apple also announced a 5K Pro HDR Display for $999 including a Pro Stand, and a modular Mac Pro mini starting at $1499 with an 8-core Intel i7 processor, 8 GB of RAM, 256 GB of NVMe M.2 storage and three PCI Express expansion slots.

“We think the significant fraction of our customers who don’t work at movie lots with functionally infinite resources will appreciate our new additions to the pro—“ attempted Vice President of Special Projects and previous head of Mac Hardware Engineering Bob Mansfield, yelling from outside a third-level Apple Park press briefing room window, standing on a metal ladder that appeared to be indistinctly yanked away by an autonomous vehicle.

“This is what our customers have been dreaming of for years,” said mildly perspiring Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller.